This chapter was coached by Jenna Buffaloe, focusing on the managers’ wellness, and effective communications.
We are responsible for our decisions, the balls are always in our court.
If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.
— Maya Angelou
Benefit of doubt
We look through our own perspectives to observe the world, we MAY NOT be aware of the secret story, try to be curious to dig deeper:
- What are the facts?
- What are my assumptions?
- How my background affect my perspective?
- What is the story with benefit of doubt taken into account?
Coat of Arms
Pick 4 traits to express a leader:
Detox your thinking with tactics mentioned above during the difficult conversation:
- Conscientiousness: calm down.
- Self-Awareness: why it matters and what do I really really want?
- Take Responsibility: what request can I make?
- Be More Curious: give the person benefit of doubt.
- Live Your Values: see Coat of Arms.
Request and commitment
Elements of request:
- In order to accomplish ABC…
- I request you to delver X by Y
- Can you commit this?
- you understand the commitment.
- you have the resource to fulfill it.
- you have the intentions to fulfill the task.
- you have substantial planning to mitigate the risks, — never overcommit.
Do NOT mess up the facts and your opinions/perspectives, use the following framework:
- When I see … (facts)
- I feel … (emotions)
- Because I think … (opions)
- What I really care about is … (deep truth)
- So I suggest … (actions)
- What do you think? (curiosty and empathy)