Some converstations are difficult, take the SCARF model into account during the conversation:

SCARF model

Contracting questions can help to reduce the heat:

  • How are you feeling coming into this conversation?
  • What can I do to help you feel comfortable communicating with me?
  • What do you want to get out of this conversation?
  • What norms can we set to make sure we both accomplish our goals?

Nonviolent communication process:

  • Observatations
  • Feellings
  • Needs
  • Requests

SBI process

  • Situation
  • Behavior
  • Impact